Relationships and their ripple effect - Part 1

How do our relationships affect our society and the future?

Nov 25, 2023

I wanted to start today by marvelling at the beautiful and inspiring words Ariella left as a comment on Crafting Eternity: What will be our legacy?:

… even seemingly unimportant actions have an affect and the world is like a beautiful orchestra of moments woven together and affecting each other. Although, I would assert that actions made from positive intentions are what we should be striving for and we should not feel hopeless even though our own legacy may seem small and unimportant. Instead, marvel at the wondrous complexity and how we cannot possibly know the extent of our short presence on earth.

Interactions we have with others, and their impacts on our relationships with others, is an underlying theme of this writing journey. As Ariella so beautifully pens, our personal relationships are complex and beautiful intersections of countless actions, large and small. And as our societies, states, nations, and planet are all made up of people, then it stands to reason that every action, every relationship, even in their intangible essence, contribute tangibly in some way to the fabric of society.

We cannot underestimate the impact of our choices.

Ariella's insights echo the concepts presented in Robert Putnam's defining work 'Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community', where he delves into the importance of social capital and the relationships and networks that underly our society. At its essence, social capital refers to the relationships and networks that exist among individuals in society. Connections between friends, families, coworkers, teammates, acquaintances.

Higher social capital = more trust, social inclusion and cohesion amongst people.

It makes sense - when our relationships are strong, and people get along well, we tend to have better communities and, by extent, societies. And when our communities work well, when we trust not only those close to us, but those acquaintances, the strangers on the road - it also helps with the governance of our regions, our countries. When we trust in our communities, we trust the leaders we elect - even if we do not always agree with them. And this has enormous consequences on democracy of our countries, and stepping even further out, the relations between different nations. Putnam's research draws a straight line: stronger personal relationships lead to healthier societies. And this, my friends, naturally has a direct effect on the greater world.

Building and nurturing our personal relationships isn't just a path to personal fulfillment or a selfish act that improves that one connection. It becomes a cornerstone for building prosperous, resilient and healthy communities. If we choose to meaningfully contribute to the world, it all starts with the quality of our connections. Relationships are the bedrock, the foundation of everything humanity has ever created. Nothing great was ever created by a person on their own - and for those folks that do think of rare occasions where it was, consider it was all the more enjoyed and appreciated by having many people involved.

The general effects of social capital, social connections, spread across the community. They lower crime rates, they improve performance in schools, they have many positive effects. - Robert Putnam

https://www.c-span.org/video/?159499-1/bowling-alone

The Ripple Effect on Community and Legacy

So how does this tie together with that concept of legacy, of infinite games? Beautifully. In "Crafting Eternity: what will be our legacy?”, we touched on how our smallest actions can ripple through time, growing into significant influences and impacts on others. If we consider the concept of social capital in this context, they have the potential of weaving a legacy of strong, interconnected communities that live on for after we have come and gone.

It's all about remembering that we are not here to "win" or gain in the short term. It's about engaging in relationships that contribute to and build up others, and foster a future where all can benefit. Remembering this mindset in our personal interactions has the potential to manifest deep empathy and understanding for others in our communities and for those in future generations. It becomes a legacy of community building - a vision where communities are not just collections of addresses and individuals, but vibrant networks of people contributing positively to one another’s lives.

I caught a taxi the other day and had a great conversation with the driver. A father of 5, this wonderful man was telling me how he used to work in an assembly plant on a line. His job in this assembly line was simple - connect a wire between a switch and a terminal. He didn't know why he was doing it, he just did it, day in, day out. One day he said he wanted to go see what they were making - at the outlet of the assembly line came a Maytag fridge. He had no idea, but his little wire was connecting the little switch that turns on the light when you open the door of the fridge.

Meaningful work and meaningful relationships aren't just nice things we chose for ourselves—they are genetically programmed into us. - Ray Dalio

What does this have to do with anything? Well, this story serves as a poignant metaphor for our role in society, and our lives. Just as his small working task contributed to a larger product, our actions, no matter how small may be creating something much larger than we know in the tapestry of our community and the legacy of future generations.

Do your part well.

You are shaping a community.

You are building the future.

You are building a societal structure that will live on long after you are gone.

And you are not alone in this.

You may have noticed this is "Part 1". That's because there's more to this I want to review, but the ideas are not well formed yet. We touched a bit on trust, respect. I still want to dig into empathy, listening, and conflict resolution, and how being good at these in our personal relationships can be templates for society at large. Stay tuned for Part 2 - next time!

Jean-Michel’s Substack

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